With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed at the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressures #people #subjects #school #eg #education #cookery #syllabus #children

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this

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contemporary era, the world is changing rapidly and dramatically.

Thesedays

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These days

, youths are facing more academic pressures by their parents, who want to opt good marks in the academic subjects rather than non-academic. So, some people think that these subjects should be eliminated from the syllabus. I cent

percent

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per cent

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disagree with the aforesaid statement.

First

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and foremost, nowadays, each and every

children

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child

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face peer pressures from the elder ones, due to they wish their kids to excel in the academic curriculum. They

knoe

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know

that these subjects will decide their future than non-academic ones.

However

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, children can excel through sports and

cookry

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cookery

also

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. Sports

altheletes

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athletes

are the brand

ambessadors

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ambassadors

ambassador

of any nation

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apply

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because they represent the whole nation at

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the

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nternational level.

For example

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, in cricket

worldcups

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world cups

world cup

or football

worldcups

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world cups

world cup

, people know them by their countries and if they win,

then

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the nation will glorious over the world.

Moreover

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, cookery and swimming are, not only practical skills but

also

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life saving

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life-saving

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skills. Through them, many people brought name and fame across the globe. So, schools and

collages

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colleges

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must encourage those students, who have innate talents.

Also

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, they should have to take a holistic approach to teach these subjects.

On the other hand

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thesedays

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these days

the

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apply

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competition has increased greatly. Every child is competing with the child with

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door. Owing to, after school there are private

tutions

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tutors

, where tutors teach hoe to compete

instead

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of co-operative.

Also

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, sometimes, children are not

keen

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keenly

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interested in non-academic subjects, due to weaker physical body structure and lack of skills.

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, high paid jobs require more academic education and parents always eager to acquire them. To conclude, if kids must teach

appropriatly

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appropriately

appropriate

in the non-academic subjects,

then

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they will definitely achieve the name and fame. So, these subjects should not be removed from the curriculum.

Submitted by Harvey on Wed Nov 11 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

299 words

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With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed at the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that genetically modified (GM) crops are a positive development. Others, however, argue that they are potentially dangerous. Discuss both these views andgive your own opinion.

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures yourth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact thus this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.