IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #subjects #school #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While learning arts subjects has become a requirement in high
school
Use synonyms
 curricula in many countries, there is a viewpoint insisting that teenagers do not need to spend time
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 arts. I disagree with the above statement as painting and drawing always play an essential part in students’ developmental journey.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by learning how to paint or draw, high
school
Use synonyms
 students can nurture their aesthetic skills which help them to learn how to express their thoughts and emotions.
In other words
Linking Words
, learning arts assists teenagers to develop holistically, and be able to take care of their mental health. Taking learning music as an example, research has proved that knowing how to sing and dance is one of the best ways for teenagers to relieve stress, improve their self-esteem, and have more confidence in themselves.
Secondly
Linking Words
, arts subjects enhance students’ creativity, which is significant in the future due to the fact that nobody can predict how the world will change in the
next
Linking Words
 fifty years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 should treat arts with the same status as literacy and numeracy. Unlike science subjects, arts can trigger creativity in teenagers at a high level because students are not frightened to be wrong.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will have the capacity to come up with the original ideas and look at problems from diverse perspectives. In conclusion, it would be a big mistake if we underestimate the role of arts in the
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum. Learning arts not only helps teenagers to take care of their mental health but
also
Linking Words
 improves their creative thinking.
Submitted by leepham1809 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: