IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people' salaries to pay for public services such as roads and schools. Other thinks high taxes are bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It has been a never-ending debate about whether or not
tax
Use synonyms
 is a necessary part.
Although
Linking Words
 many people find it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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compelling to set out a large amount of their
hard-earning
Correct your spelling
hard-earned
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 cash for the government, some still argue that the authorities should raise money from other activities
instead
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. In the following essay, I shall analyse both sides of the argument and give my point of view. On one hand, individual
income
Use synonyms
tax
Use synonyms
 is crucial to ensure the well-being of the community as a whole because it is used to invest in maintaining public services and improving the infrastructures and facilities.
For example
Linking Words
: in Vietnam’s battle against COVID-19, the state budget, sourcing from people’s earnings has allowed people to be quarantined and treated free of charge
while
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 the medical bills even in developed countries put a big strain on the already suffering patients.
Moreover
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,
Use synonyms
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
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 levy on individuals is considered a tool to regulate the economy and carry out other policies. If the government wants to promote the development of a certain sector,
tax
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 reduction for workers in that field can be introduced so as to build better commitment and attract a new workforce. Another example is how imposing
Use synonyms
tax
Add an article
a tax
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 on the rich can encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wealth redistribution to poorer members
in
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society to avoid extreme inequality.
On the other hand
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, taking a portion of people’s
income
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 has been met with opposition for some reasons.
Firstly
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, because the more a person earns, the more
tax
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 he has to pay, some view
taxing
Replace the word
taxation
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 as a sort of unfair punishment, especially if they are wealthy.
Additionally
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, objection to personal
income
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tax
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 has been linked to how it is an extra layer of burden to taxpayers in developing countries with low per capita
income
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 of under $4000.
However
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, I believe these are misconceptions since if done with proper administration, accounting for affecting factors, different
tax
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 rates for different subjects can be imposed without compromising too much of individuals’ benefit.
Tax
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 levy exists to serve the
overall
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 economic growth,
society’s
Correct word choice
and society’s
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 well-being, and
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
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 nation-level crises. In conclusion, putting a levy on people’s salaries is a need, but it has to be done in moderation in order to make the best use to benefit all parts of the population.

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language
Ensure precision in language use, particularly with vocabulary and grammar. Minor inaccuracies can affect clarity.
structure
Consider restructuring sentences for even clearer argument development, leading to an even more sophisticated flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, offering a balanced discussion.
coherence & cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating and summarizing your perspective and argument.
task achievement
Uses relevant examples, like the Vietnam COVID-19 response, to support claims effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public services
  • equitable society
  • disposable income
  • consumer spending
  • innovation
  • entrepreneurship
  • economic growth
  • tax revenue
  • investment
  • efficiently maintained
  • neglect and decay
  • motivation to work
  • financial growth
  • government expenditure
  • corruption
  • wastage
  • prosperity
  • societal infrastructure
  • essential services
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