Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#think #children #activities #videogames

The world is changing

therefore

changing is knocking everywhere .A group of people claim that

Enaging

Correct your spelling

Engaging

children in outdoor activities

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are

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more important than playing electronics games.I am supporting the

first

view The most important thing is

Add an article

show examples

ealthy life.Outdoor sports are forced to children to do run or jump which increase the body stamina as well as

also

very fruitful to

brain stimulating

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brain-stimulating

show examples

.For

instead

, it is found from

Add an article

the

show examples

merican research journal that the children who are played basketball or baseball which is outdoor games are more wealthy than others children.whenever a youngster increase their movement in outdoors task at that time they will meet different real character which is helpful to improve their brain

likewise

enormous benefits to

build

Change the verb form

building

show examples

their carrier. Admittedly, There are some extreme side effect of videogames At

first

its injurious for eyes .

Besides

nowadays most of the video games are human killing or

war related

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war-related

show examples

such

as pubg and call of duty

Accordingly

researchers says that it increase the children crime rate.

For example

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show examples

somedays ago newzeland a boy killed many

muslims

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Muslims

show examples

in the mosque

by the way

Add the comma(s)

, by the way,

show examples

the killing style same as pubg.

Nonetheless

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show examples

it is proved that

vidoe

Correct your spelling

video

games

Change the verb form

are

show examples

boosted up children decision-making ability. In conclusion, outdoor games are more effective than any games which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

played by computers or mobiles.Above mentioned the reasons

Verify preposition usage

for

show examples

supporting.

Submitted by Arifur Rahman Barno on Thu Nov 12 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

You recently purchased a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work properly. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter: Describe the problem with the equipment. Explain how this issue has affected you. State what you would like the store to do about it.

Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

in some countries , it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. is this a positive or negative development?