Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#think #children #activities #videogames

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The world is changing

therefore

changing is knocking everywhere .A group of people claim that

Enaging

Correct your spelling

Engaging

children in outdoor activities

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more important than playing electronics games.I am supporting the

first

view The most important thing is

Add an article

show examples

ealthy life.Outdoor sports are forced to children to do run or jump which increase the body stamina as well as

also

very fruitful to

brain stimulating

Add a hyphen

brain-stimulating

show examples

.For

instead

, it is found from

Add an article

the

show examples

merican research journal that the children who are played basketball or baseball which is outdoor games are more wealthy than others children.whenever a youngster increase their movement in outdoors task at that time they will meet different real character which is helpful to improve their brain

likewise

enormous benefits to

build

Change the verb form

building

show examples

their carrier. Admittedly, There are some extreme side effect of videogames At

first

its injurious for eyes .

Besides

nowadays most of the video games are human killing or

war related

Add a hyphen

war-related

show examples

such

as pubg and call of duty

Accordingly

researchers says that it increase the children crime rate.

For example

Add a comma

show examples

somedays ago newzeland a boy killed many

muslims

Change the capitalization

Muslims

show examples

in the mosque

by the way

Add the comma(s)

, by the way,

show examples

the killing style same as pubg.

Nonetheless

Add a comma

show examples

it is proved that

vidoe

Correct your spelling

video

games

Change the verb form

are

show examples

boosted up children decision-making ability. In conclusion, outdoor games are more effective than any games which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

played by computers or mobiles.Above mentioned the reasons

Verify preposition usage

for

show examples

supporting.

Submitted by Arifur Rahman Barno on Thu Nov 12 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

224 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is a well-known law in a lot of countries that when young men reach a certain age, it is mandatory to join the military service after they finish school. The law also applies to young women in some countries. Personally, I think it is a good thing for the young generation to join military service and the countries should adopt the system as the younger generation will learn good life lessons while doing service.
6
band
It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this generation, parents are frequently debating about their children. Especially, they feel hard, when they ask their children to read books. From my perspective, I totally agree with the statement. The main reason why children are not willing books is that a huge number of words are printed on every page of the book. Instead of conveying the message of books in words, we can try to transfer the knowledge in other ways. So, I will discuss the issue of why the kids are finding it hard to book, and what the ways to improve their reading skills.
6
band
Some people think all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The field of study is one of the most important choices that institute students have to make in terms of progressing in their lives and future careers. Some argue that a field of study takes priority over students’ preferences, so obliging students to study such subject area brings prosperity for individuals and nations in the future. The importance of both will be discussed and I will mention my personal viewpoint at the end.
5
band
Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Today, technology fills almost every aspect of our life. It makes our life convenient and effective. While I agree scientific research is very important, I do not agree it should be controlled by the government instead of private companies.
6
band
Some people argue that modern technologies such as computers and cellphones destroy people’ social interaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this era, no one can deny that the usage of technology is constantly on the rise.However, some arguments are rising among public about how the usage of technology such as computers and cell phones can impact social interaction.In this paragraph, I disagree and would like to shed light on the reason for this change.

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people argue that modern technologies such as computers and cellphones destroy people’ social interaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?