Some people say that outdoor activities bring more benefits to children development then computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children #development #computer #games

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is irrefutable that electronic games are the most preferable in today's era. A certain segment of the society believes that playing in the field brings various beneficial aspects in the overall growth of individuals development. A number of reasons are responsible behind its influence and I believe that it leaves a positive impact on people's mind. I would like to delve into both the arguments in the upcoming paragraph.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there is a positive development that I need to consider.

First

Linking Words

and the foremost, outdoor games develop physical growth of youngsters body. Playing in the playground maintain body fitness and tends to build a muscular body. To Exemplify

this

Linking Words

, basketball is a sport which reduces fat because it is the world's

second

Linking Words

-fastest sport.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

impacts on personality and develops some mental skills. Participating in field activities tends to build sportsmanship among each other and invent leadership qualities.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

improves the personality of mankind.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,there are

also

Linking Words

certain benefits of electronic entertainment.

Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

place a major role in a child's development. These games help to develop their cognitive skills

such

Linking Words

as quality to think and perceptual skills.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, participating online foster the social and team relationship. Inviting friends online and enjoying common recreational activities are likely to to be a good start of a friendship.

Further

Linking Words

, to defeat opponent, many players corporate with each other and

this

Linking Words

brings boosting teamwork skills among them. In conclusion, after looking at both sides of the coin, it can be concluded that utilising time on playgrounds have more benefits than spending time on electronic entertainment. Based on the discussion, I personally think that children utilise their time towards physical sports, it would be beneficial for their health.

Submitted by naresh on Thu Nov 12 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?
It is a new trend that a significant proportion of highly-skilled people from developing countries are attracted by developed countries for well-paid jobs. This essay initially discusses the hindrances and problems, and later the remedy and solution.
7
band
Countries should start using nuclear power as their main source of energy; fossil fuels (i.e. coal, oil and gas) are not going to last forever and nuclear power is the cheapest alternative. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is stated that nuclear power serves as the best option to replace fossil fuels as a primary resource to generate power for nations because it is affordable and sustainable. However, this essay opposes that statement because it holds the potential to risk citizens if the nuclear being leaked and there are other alternative sources of energy available.
6
band
Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problems?
In today’s society, the majority of teenagers are concerned about their appearance. This is caused by many factors which I will elaborate them and discuss the ways that can be done to reduce the problems.
6.5
band
Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?
It is uncommon to see many people use traditional tools of writing such as a pen or a pencil. The fundamental reason behind this can be attributed to technological advancements and this change in trend has more negative effects than positive outcomes.
4.5
band
Some people think that men and women have different qualities , therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extend do you agree or disagree
Many people hold the opinion that individuals who have different gender also have different advantages

Some people say that outdoor activities bring more benefits to children development then computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

Countries should start using nuclear power as their main source of energy; fossil fuels (i.e. coal, oil and gas) are not going to last forever and nuclear power is the cheapest alternative. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problems?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities , therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extend do you agree or disagree