Some people say that outdoor activities bring more benefits to children development then computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children #development #computer #games

It is irrefutable that electronic games are the most preferable in today's era. A certain segment of the society believes that playing in the field brings various beneficial aspects in the overall growth of individuals development. A number of reasons are responsible behind its influence and I believe that it leaves a positive impact on people's mind. I would like to delve into both the arguments in the upcoming paragraph.

To begin

with, there is a positive development that I need to consider.

First

and the foremost, outdoor games develop physical growth of youngsters body. Playing in the playground maintain body fitness and tends to build a muscular body. To Exemplify

this

, basketball is a sport which reduces fat because it is the world's

second

-fastest sport.

Furthermore

, it

also

impacts on personality and develops some mental skills. Participating in field activities tends to build sportsmanship among each other and invent leadership qualities.

Hence

this

improves the personality of mankind.

On the other hand

,there are

also

certain benefits of electronic entertainment.

Firstly

this

place a major role in a child's development. These games help to develop their cognitive skills

such

as quality to think and perceptual skills.

In addition

this

, participating online foster the social and team relationship. Inviting friends online and enjoying common recreational activities are likely to to be a good start of a friendship.

Further

, to defeat opponent, many players corporate with each other and

this

brings boosting teamwork skills among them. In conclusion, after looking at both sides of the coin, it can be concluded that utilising time on playgrounds have more benefits than spending time on electronic entertainment. Based on the discussion, I personally think that children utilise their time towards physical sports, it would be beneficial for their health.

Submitted by naresh on Thu Nov 12 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this contemporary world , some universities students they want to learn additional subject to their main studies while other argues that more time should spend on studying for a qualification. This essay will acknowledge the validity of this statement and elaborates on my reason.
<4
band
You were supposed to go on an interview in a few weeks, but you have since found out you cannot go on the date arranged.
I am writing to express my concerns about not being able to be interviewed on the date arranged.
5.5
band
Since the beginning of 21st century internet has been changed dramatically and working from home has become common. While working in the comfort of home may prove to be a blessing, office workers have some unmatchable benefits. This essay will discuss why office goers could be more productive than people who choose to be home-sourced.
One of the most common approaches in the world since the beginning of Covid-19 is remote-working. At first, it was for the sake of safety and preventing the disease to spread. Then, after the invention of the vaccine and controlling the virus, It became a regular way of working all around the world. Remote-working has some benefits to both managers and office-workers, but it also has its downfalls, too. One of them is the productivity of the workers.
6.5
band
Some people consider corruption to be the root cause of problems in government organizations and politics. What problems arise due to this corruption? What are possible solutions to eradicate corruption.
Some people believe that corruption is the reason for issues in government establishments and political offices. There are some problems because of this which are unfair distribution of services and distrust among people. However, there are some possible solutions which help in eradicating bribery.
8.5
band
A local college is having an international day. You want to speak about your country to students from different cultures. Write a letter to the college head. In your letter: Tell him/her about the topics that you are going to talk about Explain why they would be of interest to the students Ask about any arrangements that you need to make to give the talk
I am writing this letter to talk about my country's valuable information to the students on an International day.

Some people say that outdoor activities bring more benefits to children development then computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You were supposed to go on an interview in a few weeks, but you have since found out you cannot go on the date arranged.

Some people consider corruption to be the root cause of problems in government organizations and politics. What problems arise due to this corruption? What are possible solutions to eradicate corruption.