Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
modern era,society
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
more technologist specialist than other professions.Some people believe that
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment should pay university fees for these students.
Firstly
,we live in
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
century,so we need more specialists in
this
profession,
such
as computer engineering.It will be good if
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment pay for teenagers that study science subjects.
Unfortunaly
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
,not every family can pay for university fees.It will be
b
Add an article
a
show examples
enefit for poor people.
Secondly
,there are lots of people
w
Add a pronoun
who
show examples
ant to become doctors,teachers.And they
also
need to computers during work.In my opinion
Add a comma
,
show examples
goveenment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
should schools,hospital with modern
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
,it may be easier for not only students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
teachers.I think
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment should spend
b
Add an article
the
show examples
udget in
this
case.
Thirdly
,some people found of art,so
governnent
Correct your spelling
government
governments
have to spend money
for
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
this
faculties
also
To conclude,it will be more
benefitially
Correct your spelling
beneficially
beneficial
,when
goveenment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
spend money to provide our society with modern technology.
Submitted by ulya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic efficiency
  • allocate resources
  • job market
  • unemployment
  • underemployment
  • skill gap
  • critical sectors
  • financial incentives
  • societal needs
  • potential for resentment
  • undervalued
  • academic performance
  • overspecialization
  • diversity in skills
  • cultural development
  • holistic societal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: