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Band 5

Children are engaged in different kind of paid work. Many of people consider it inappropriate and many think it as a learning experience for taking responsibility? Give your opinions and views on this statement?

#children #work #people #responsibility
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In the modern world, doing a part-time job is common among youngsters. Some people believe that it is not suitable for children while others argue that it is another way of learning. Throughout
this
 essay, I will discuss
the
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both views and provide my personal opinion.
To begin
 with, the sole priority of teenagers would be
achieveing
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achieving
 academic goals, not working. But engaging in employment can shift the focus from studies to money which is dangerous. The foundation
to
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of
for
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 a successful life is education and
by
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focusing on work could ruin the future of a child.
For example
, a study done in Europe has found out that 80% of children who do casual jobs ended up failing academically.
Additionally
, the young generation can have access to
u
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an
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nwanted amount of cash when doing a job which could lead them to a whole lot of troubles.
Thus
, working while learning is not appropriate for young adults.
However
, part-time work can be an exceptional way of learning how to be responsible. Sometimes, it is difficult to get the practical
knowlege
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knowledge
 of being a
resposible
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responsible
 person by only studying at school.
On the other hand
, a part-time job means endless responsibilities and it would give offsprings the important opportunity to learn how to be responsible.
For example
, my nephew is 16 years old and he is already a manager at a popular retail store. He has already gained valuable experiences when compared to the other children at his age.
Hence
, doing casual jobs while learning could help children to be responsible. To sum up,
although
 it is said that teenagers should not work while studying, I believe it is important as it can help to create a responsible citizen for
the
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society.
Submitted by shalithfdo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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