IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organizations #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates information about the UK’s and the
orld’s
Correct your spelling
world's
 share of Scotland’s exports in 2014. Overall, it can be seen that the highest-earning for Scotland came from
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
business services, finance hotels and restaurant services, whereas the highest income from the export to the UK is chemicals and mineral products. According to the export to the UK, it can be seen that the highest amount of money came from chemicals and mineral products 5
billion
Use synonyms
, whereas manufacturing of food and drink is lesser with 0.6
billion
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, electrical instrument and engineering, business services, finance hotels and restaurant services make up a significant proportion as well as4
billion
Use synonyms
, 2.1
billion
Use synonyms
 and 1.7
billion
Use synonyms
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, other manufacturing wholesale and retail, agriculture and other services make up a tiny proportion
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
1.1
billion
Use synonyms
, 1
billion
Use synonyms
, 0.6
billion
Use synonyms
 and 0.9
billion
Use synonyms
 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Scotland generated the highest export figure from business service with over 15
billion
Use synonyms
 pounds while the
second
Linking Words
-highest came from chemical and mineral industry.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, agriculture, food and drink metals instruments other manufacturing wholescale and other services are 2.4, 5.8, 2.7 2.3 5.9, 8.2 and 3
billion
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by hayrapetyan2004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: