The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organizations #outweigh

The bar chart illustrates information about the UK’s and the

orld’s

Correct your spelling

world's

share of Scotland’s exports in 2014. Overall, it can be seen that the highest-earning for Scotland came from

the

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apply

show examples

business services, finance hotels and restaurant services, whereas the highest income from the export to the UK is chemicals and mineral products. According to the export to the UK, it can be seen that the highest amount of money came from chemicals and mineral products 5

billion

, whereas manufacturing of food and drink is lesser with 0.6

billion

Therefore

, electrical instrument and engineering, business services, finance hotels and restaurant services make up a significant proportion as well as4

billion

, 2.1

billion

and 1.7

billion

respectively.

However

, other manufacturing wholesale and retail, agriculture and other services make up a tiny proportion

Verify preposition usage

show examples

1.1

billion

, 1

billion

, 0.6

billion

and 0.9

billion

respectively.

On the other hand

, Scotland generated the highest export figure from business service with over 15

billion

pounds while the

second

-highest came from chemical and mineral industry.

Furthermore

, agriculture, food and drink metals instruments other manufacturing wholescale and other services are 2.4, 5.8, 2.7 2.3 5.9, 8.2 and 3

billion

respectively.

Submitted by hayrapetyan2004 on Mon Nov 16 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

191 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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