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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many educational institutions give greater importance to subjects related to science and ignore subjects such as drama and literature. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#institutions #importance #subjects #science #drama #literature #development
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t is becoming increasingly common for schools around the
world
 to emphasise STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) to the detriment of the humanities.
This
 is a logically motivated decision and is negative overall. The main reason for
this
 shift is a realisation of the value of jobs in scientific fields. New inventions and medicines push forward human progress and generate billions of dollars in revenue across a wide spectrum of industries. It
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
 follows there are high-paying jobs available in private and public sectors for engineers, researchers, scientists, and mathematicians. At the very least, someone who majors in a
STEM related
Add a hyphen
STEM-related
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 subject will be able to find a quality teaching position.
This
 guarantees
of
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apply
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a minimum level of success and the possibility of a much greater career
motivates
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motivate
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 parents, institutions and students themselves to prioritise and pursue scientific careers.
This
 over-emphasis on science will translate to less art in the
world
. It is true that from a strictly utilitarian point of view, resources ought to be allocated to fields with the most economic value. Life is,
however
, more than the sum of everyone’s earning potential. If the proportion of humanities majors falls, there will be fewer painters, sculptors, filmmakers, writers, and musicians. Science may create modern conveniences but the arts are more important for a fulfilling and enjoyable life. The results of
this
 decline might not become apparent for generations, but if funding is slashed for arts programs, the
world
 will become culturally poorer and the art that has enriched and elevated humanity will give way to a tranquil, technocratic future. In conclusion, the jobs available to science majors explain their dominance but taken as a whole
this
 trend will result in a
world
 bereft of great artists. It is
therefore
 important to balance funding to a defensible degree.
Submitted by meleksima89 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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