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Writing Samples
Band 5

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #crime #rates #degrees #rate #criminals #prison
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It is true that educated people tend to be
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a low-abiding citizen
low-abiding citizens
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low-abiding
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law-abiding
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 citizens. Personally, I completely agree with the idea that implementation of educating programs in prisons could help prisoners to receive a legal job and
as a result
Linking Words
 to become
a responsible members
Correct the article-noun agreement
responsible members
a responsible member
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 of
society
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. One reason why
this
Linking Words
 approach should be realized is that high
education
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 and work experience has already proven to be successful at changing people’s mindset. Inmates need
education
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 in order to successfully reenter
society
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 once they are released and use the knowledge and skills they have learned to obtain a job in order to support themselves and their families. The United States is a prime example where people who were in prison can have another chance to start a new life with new tools
such
Linking Words
 as
n
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a
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ew profession or new abilities. The other reason why it is crucial to concentrate on inmates while they are in prison is making
h
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a
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ealthy
society
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. Almost nobody is born a criminal. Most criminals are victims of circumstances. In fact
Add a comma
,
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most of them come from the poor strata of the
society
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 and lack of
education
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.
Education
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 may change the situation for good. If prisoners receive an opportunity to learn and acquire vocational or academic degrees from prison, they are more likely to find employment upon
they
Change the pronoun
their
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 release. When they have a secure job and a means of living, most people will not want to get into crime again. To conclude,
education
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 improves a person’s employability. Just because someone is a prisoner, it does not mean that they cannot learn or acquire degrees. In fact, educating prisoners is one of the best things we can do for their rehabilitation and successful induction into the
society
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.
Submitted by Nataliia Litovchenko on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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