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Band 5.5

Recent advances in technology lead to the fact that human workforce is gradually replaced with machinery. What are some problems caused by this trend, and how can they be dealt with?

#advances #technology #fact #workforce #machinery #trend
Nowadays, advanced technologies are increasingly applied
instead
 of human labour. 
This
 tendency is highly likely to cause a couple of adverse consequences. In order to tackle these problems, both governments and individuals should take
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain actions indeed. In fact, there are various issues resulting from the implementation of automatic machinery in industrial production. 
To begin
 with, technological advancement involves the prevalence of machines in workplaces and
consequently
 leads to a high rate of unemployment. The more machines are applied, the fewer jobs are available for workers.
This
 scenario is even more serious for employees who are unskilled or inexperienced in their positions.
In addition
, people should not underestimate how reliable technological devices can become at times. No one can be absolutely sure of the precision and efficiency of mechanical operations. In extreme cases, if they are over-dependent, a technical failure can cause many severe consequences to factories and businesses. Given these obstacles, concerted efforts are needed on both
governmental
Correct article usage
a governmental
show examples
 and individual basis.
Firstly
, authorities should take
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
responsibility by redistributing the system of the workforce across various sectors. More attention should be particularly paid to the fields that require human intelligence,
such
 as education and other social sciences.
Secondly
, each individual needs to take the initiative
in improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
 their professional knowledge and practical skills regularly. To be more specific, it is advisable for modern labourers to promote their technological literacy in order not to be left behind. All in all, the utilisation of robots and machines in lieu of the human workforce is likely to increase the number of jobless people
along
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cause some
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
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due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 low reliability.
Therefore
, governments ought to appropriately reallocate employees who are expected to sharpen their technical skills at the same time.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion serve their purpose by clearly framing and summarizing the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Vary sentence structures and incorporate complex sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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