Some people think that parents have a great in!uence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger in!uence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In
this
day and age, the influence on a child’s development has still been a subject of heated debate. While
many people suppose that family exerts the greatest impact on children
; however
, some say that other influences such
as music or other people have the biggest influence on a child.
On the one hand, Parents
are important. After all, they are the first teacher and the role model of a child. Children
learn much of social skills from their parents
. In fact, the atmosphere at home plays a vital role in shaping their character and personality. That also
explains why kids born to successful parents
also
become successful in their life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Besides
, children
spend a huge amount of time being with parents
at home and it is easy for them to witness the way how everyday issues are handled by their parents
.
On the other hand
, we couldn't
ignore the influence of Wrong verb form
can't
media
on youngsters. Firstly
, most parents
are now busy and get to spend only a small amount of time with their children
. Now, the media
has assumed the role of the baby sitter
. Correct your spelling
babysitter
Besides
, media
can be widely accessed by a large number of audiences nowadays, allowing children
to learn international affairs and current news. For example
, some teachers encourage students to watch news outside school time, which makes children
learn more from mass media
. In this
way, children
will consider TV as a study tool and believe the information that is
delivered from it.
In conclusion, although
it is clear that
family has a great effect on children
, I believe that media
exerts the most profound influences
on a child’s development Fix the agreement mistake
influence
especially
in Add the comma(s)
, especially
this
digital and technological age.Submitted by Andy on
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task response
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that you clearly discuss both views as outlined in the prompt. Make sure to give equal weight to the influence of parents and the media on children. Additionally, provide a balanced view in your own opinion rather than favoring one side.
coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on structuring your essay more effectively. Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and previews the main points. Develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Finally, end with a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?