Some people think that parents have a great in!uence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger in!uence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #uence #children #media

this

day and age, the influence on a child’s development has still been a subject of heated debate.

While

many people suppose that family exerts the greatest impact on

children

;

however

, some say that other influences

such

as music or other people have the biggest influence on a child. On the one hand,

Parents

are important. After all, they are the first teacher and the role model of a child.

Children

learn much of social skills from their

parents

. In fact, the atmosphere at home plays a vital role in shaping their character and personality. That

also

explains why kids born to successful

parents

also

become successful in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Besides

children

spend a huge amount of time being with

parents

at home and it is easy for them to witness the way how everyday issues are handled by their

parents

On the other hand

, we

couldn't

Wrong verb form

can't

show examples

ignore the influence of

media

on youngsters.

Firstly

, most

parents

are now busy and get to spend only a small amount of time with their

children

. Now, the

media

has assumed the role of the

baby sitter

Correct your spelling

babysitter

show examples

Besides

media

can be widely accessed by a large number of audiences nowadays, allowing

children

to learn international affairs and current news.

For example

, some teachers encourage students to watch news outside school time, which makes

children

learn more from mass

media

. In

this

way,

children

will consider TV as a study tool and believe the information

that is

delivered from it. In conclusion,

although

it is clear that

family has a great effect on

children

, I believe that

media

exerts the most profound

influences

Fix the agreement mistake

influence

show examples

on a child’s development

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

this

digital and technological age.

Submitted by Andy on Mon Nov 16 2020

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task response

To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that you clearly discuss both views as outlined in the prompt. Make sure to give equal weight to the influence of parents and the media on children. Additionally, provide a balanced view in your own opinion rather than favoring one side.

coherence cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, work on structuring your essay more effectively. Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and previews the main points. Develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Finally, end with a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that parents have a great in!uence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger in!uence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays more are more people are deciding to have a baby in later life. What are the reasons? And how to solve this problem?

some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.