Some people think that parents have a great in!uence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger in!uence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #uence #children #media

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this

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day and age, the influence on a child’s development has still been a subject of heated debate.

While

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many people suppose that family exerts the greatest impact on

children

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;

however

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, some say that other influences

such

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as music or other people have the biggest influence on a child. On the one hand,

Parents

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are important. After all, they are the first teacher and the role model of a child.

Children

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learn much of social skills from their

parents

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. In fact, the atmosphere at home plays a vital role in shaping their character and personality. That

also

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explains why kids born to successful

parents

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also

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become successful in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Besides

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children

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spend a huge amount of time being with

parents

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at home and it is easy for them to witness the way how everyday issues are handled by their

parents

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On the other hand

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, we

couldn't

Wrong verb form

can't

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ignore the influence of

media

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on youngsters.

Firstly

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, most

parents

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are now busy and get to spend only a small amount of time with their

children

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. Now, the

media

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has assumed the role of the

baby sitter

Correct your spelling

babysitter

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Besides

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media

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can be widely accessed by a large number of audiences nowadays, allowing

children

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to learn international affairs and current news.

For example

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, some teachers encourage students to watch news outside school time, which makes

children

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learn more from mass

media

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. In

this

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way,

children

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will consider TV as a study tool and believe the information

that is

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delivered from it. In conclusion,

although

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it is clear that

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family has a great effect on

children

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, I believe that

media

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exerts the most profound

influences

Fix the agreement mistake

influence

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on a child’s development

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

this

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digital and technological age.

Submitted by Andy on Mon Nov 16 2020

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task response

To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that you clearly discuss both views as outlined in the prompt. Make sure to give equal weight to the influence of parents and the media on children. Additionally, provide a balanced view in your own opinion rather than favoring one side.

coherence cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, work on structuring your essay more effectively. Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and previews the main points. Develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Finally, end with a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Some people think that parents have a great in!uence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger in!uence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

"Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification

In many countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?