IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Other people opine that
job
Use synonyms
 stability is essential while some value gratification at
work
Use synonyms
. I believe that a
job
Use synonyms
 that gives people contentment is more paramount than a secured but customary
job
Use synonyms
.   On the one hand,
job
Use synonyms
 security is targeted by some
job
Use synonyms
-hunters since they believe that
this
Linking Words
 will lead them to a successful career over a period of time.
This
Linking Words
 kind of culture is mostly seen in the older generations, maybe because of life experiences. As people grow older, they want assurance and stability that even if there are younger and newly hired employees with higher sets of skills, they will be indispensable and be kept in the company.
For instance
Linking Words
, younger generations are  more
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 when it comes to computer skills than older people.  
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people have different ways of satisfying themselves when it comes to
work
Use synonyms
 basing on their own preferences. Some working populations, mostly young professionals, believe that satisfaction and autonomy are crucial at
work
Use synonyms
 for it enables them to
work
Use synonyms
 effectively. Their competitive yet vibrant personalities
enables
Change the verb form
enable
show examples
 them to project their career into a wider range of possibilities.
This
Linking Words
 is true when
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 comes to the advertising company, it allows them to create and produce
u
Add an article
an
show examples
nconventional yet effective method to publicize a certain product.   In conclusion, a stable
job
Use synonyms
 is important for people
n
Add a pronoun
who
show examples
eed to pay necessities and even afford luxuries.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and a feeling of reward will lead to a happier and healthier life which is I think is more valuable.
Submitted by kikojevie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: