IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The global demand for oil and gas is increasing. Some believe that we should therefore encourage the exploitation of remote areas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#demand #oil #gas #believe #exploitation #areas #outweigh
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Nowadays, natural resources became the major source for generating energy, especially
oil
 and gas are
in
Verify preposition usage
at
show examples
 the top of the list. As the global demand soars,
oil
 exploration companies try to expand their wings to remote or
un-explored
Correct your spelling
unexplored
show examples
 areas. I firmly believe, the drawbacks associated with it will overweigh the possible value additions.
This
 essay will focus on the negative effects of exploring places for
oil
 and gas extraction. On the one hand,
oil
 and gas are the trivial driving factors for human commutation and industrial growth. Alongside it helps to ease your work, as many of the modern age
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 are fuelled or designed to function with either
oill
Correct your spelling
oil
 or gas as the primary energy.
For example
, nations across the world noticed a significant improvement in their growth with the advent and
adoptation
Correct your spelling
adaptation
adoption
 of
oil
 and
gas dependent
Add a hyphen
gas-dependent
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
On the other hand
, companies in
e
Add an article
the
show examples
nergy exploration sector are looking to take control of
oil rich
Add a hyphen
oil-rich
show examples
 remote places.
This
 aids in expanding
their
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 business base to compete with peers and secure their market place. As an effect, inhabitants are suffering
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
 health hazards, risk of being exposed to major catastrophes
such
 as
oil
 spill, gas leaks among the few.
For instance
, a natural gas transportation pipe which runs under the village blasted in late 2017, which resulted in vanishing the whole area and the villagers.
Finally
,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 extracting
oil
 from all the available locations will help humans to take the growth
further
, but it raises concerns about
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
humans and their right to live
in
Correct your spelling
inland
show examples
l
Add an article
the
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and. Exploration of
oil
 and gas in remote places will be a major threat to the existence of the place and its inhabitants or
indegenious
Correct your spelling
indigenous
 community.
Submitted by ashok.swathi0904 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exploitation
  • economic growth
  • infrastructure
  • underdeveloped areas
  • environmental cost
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • global warming
  • renewable energy sources
  • sustainable development
  • geopolitical issues
  • resource control
What to do next:
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