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Writing Samples
Band 4

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

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Money is the most indispensable for living life, and
learns
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 to value it
at
Change preposition
in
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 an early life is helpful for later life.
However
Linking Words
 ,
this
Linking Words
 essay disagrees with the statement that it should be studied in
school
Use synonyms
 because
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 to
merit
Verb problem
earn
show examples
 money cannot be studied as a subject in
academy
Add an article
the academy
show examples
 like any other subject.
Moreover
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 , it is the responsibility of
parents
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 to teach their
children
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 moral ethic.
Firstly
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 ,
School
Use synonyms
 has a lot of subjects in their timetable, and students already have so much burden on their shoulders.
Besides
Linking Words
 , to teach pupils the importance of cash and how to spend it, in the curriculum is a bad idea, because they already have a lot to study and
this
Linking Words
 cannot be taught in the academies and take an exam and pass it.
For example
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 , an experiment
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 done in the UK, they started to teach moral values in schools, but after some time they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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found that students
lack
Verb problem
were
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 behind in other subjects.
Secondly
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 ,
Children
Use synonyms
 adopt the moral values from their
parents
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 and grandparents.
Moreover
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 ,
parents
Use synonyms
 have to make their
children
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 realize the worth of cash at an early age.
This
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 knowledge from an initial age would be fruitful and will not spend cash on an unnecessary luxury.
For instance
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 , Warren Buffet - the world's top investor, said in one of his interviews that he realized the significance of capital when he was in
school
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. His first investment was at the age of 11
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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 from pocket money given by his
parents
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.
As a result
Linking Words
 , today he is a billionaire and 5th richest person in the world.
To conclude
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, knowing the importance of wealth in childhood could be benevolent and
instead
Linking Words
 of teaching it in
school
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,
parents
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 should inculcate moral values
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • curriculum
  • fiscal responsibility
  • money management
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • investing
  • adult population
  • financial decisions
  • educational systems
  • theoretical curriculum
  • practical life skills
  • real-life experience
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