IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that children given pocket money every week will have fewer money problems when they become adults. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #pocket #money #week #adults
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According to Forbes magazine statistics from 2019, approximately 40% of adults in developed countries at least once in their
life
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 have experienced problems directly connected to their finance. It is believed by some individuals that kids who are given
pocket
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 cash may experience fewer
money
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 problems when they get older. I totally agree with
this
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 statement, because the earlier a child can have a responsibility and confidence with spending, the easier it will be for him in adulthood.
Firstly
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, it is believed that responsible people tend to be more successful than unresponsible ones. People who achieved great results in their career and family
life
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,
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apply
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 have good orderliness almost in everything, especially in financial issues.
Thus
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, in order to be organized in important parts of
life
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,
succesfull
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successful
 individuals must be responsible
in
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for
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 their actions of spending.
Secondly
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, it is known that the more a person can have
the
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apply
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confidence in his decisions throughout his
life
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, the easier it will be for him to reach his set goals. In general,
successfull
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successful
 people, like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and others, have conviction, when it comes to decisive moments of investing their savings into different financial instruments. That sureness is obtained from
an early stages
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an early stage
early stages
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 of their
life
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,
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apply
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 when they had an opportunity to spend their
pocket
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money
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. In conclusion, as we can see from
a
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the
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rguments above,
responsibilty
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responsibility
 and confidence in spending
money
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is
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are
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 gained in
the
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apply
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childhood. I believe that the earlier a child can have the
pocket
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money
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, the easier it would be for him in his future
life
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.
That is
Linking Words
 why it is better to give children
pocket
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money
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 as soon as possible.
Submitted by a_saduanov on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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