Some people believe that having a conversation on a mobile phone in a public or crowded place should be banned. Others feel that we should be able to talk wherever we like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has long been a heated debate about whether receiving a call on
m
Add an article
a

It appears that an article is missing before the word mobile. Consider adding the article.

show examples
obile phone in public should be forbidden or not. In my own’s perspective, it is impractical that we cannot use our legal property, to be more specific, as mobile phones even in the public or crowded place and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

paper are going to cast light on two aspects of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue. On the one side, it is completely illegal and unfair if implemented a rule counter the act of receiving a call on mobile phones in public. The fact that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

code does not only violate the ownership, a basic term of personal rights, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

commit the property rights or even constitution in various countries.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is widely unacceptable that using the owned properties without harmful or illegal like handset, in public, have to be restricted or banned.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a common view in society with
t
Add an article
the

The noun phrase truly full agreement seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
ruly full agreement of many citizens, regardless of classes in society. On the flip side, many people comment that makes or receive a call in public is completely disturbing and annoying others if the listeners or callers raised their voice too loud,
nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

thought is partially true.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, having
Add a hyphen
stand-in

It appears that stand in is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
s
Add an article
a

The noun phrase stand seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
tand in or sit in a noisy place, people exposed and approached to
v
Add an article
a

The noun phrase variety seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
ariety of different kinds of noises, do not need to be the voice of people when talking on portable phones.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if people coming out to
p
Add an article
the

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
ublic for only a while, they are not likely to care about the strangers or neighbourhood too much to put themselves under pressure. To recapitulate, based on the freedom, legal permission and unrelated or harmful to surrounding people, the fact that talking on mobile phones in crowded places is an unavoidable situation and unintentional action.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I hold the view that it is not worth to totally be banned
Verify preposition usage
from

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word banned. Consider adding the preposition.

show examples
speaking to other listeners or speakers via handphone in the public area.
Submitted by Tạ Minh Hiếu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: