Some people believe the best way to produce a better society is to ensure there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and the poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #difference #earnings

It is claimed that some people think creating a harmony

society

by shrinking the salary difference between

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

wealth

and needy people is the best way.To state my opinion,I completely disagree

Verify preposition usage

with

show examples

this

point of view. Admittedly,when the

gap

between the

wealth

Replace the word

wealthy

show examples

and the poor is small,people will have less sense of deprivation as comparing their own property and with that of others.

Nevertheless

，

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smaller

gap

can not necessarily bring more

happiness

to the

society

T his

Correct your spelling

This

show examples

is the conflict between the size of

Add an article

the

show examples

conomy and the distribution of social

wealth

,which is quite common in economics.

For example

,if a country is trapped in poverty and decides not to develop the fear of expanding the income

gap

.people will enjoy more equality and less

wealth

and

happiness

Besides

,the motivation for people to work hard in order to earn more salary and promote social development decreases.

In addition

,narrowing the income

gap

between the

wealth

Replace the word

wealthy

show examples

and the poor is almost impossible to bring more

happiness

.Other ways like improving social facilities,developing a good system on health care,providing more care to citizens may be more efficient to increase people’s sense of

happiness

.Only be improving the citizens’ well-being can we build a more harmonious

society

without more diseases. In conclusion,narrowing the

gap

between the

wealth

and people in need can reduce

Add an article

the

show examples

ense of deprivation,

However

this

way alone can not build a better

society

.What we should consider is to improve people’s well-being and physical condition

instead

of shrinking gaps.

Submitted by hayrapetyan2004 on Wed Nov 25 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe the best way to produce a better society is to ensure there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and the poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Do you think that ocean exploration is as important as space exploration?

Written books are not needed because we can read almost everything on the Internet”. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantagers of this overweign the disadvantagers?

Some people think that life is better in cities, however others claim that village life is far better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter: say which part-time course you booked explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course