IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The news media have too much influence on people’s lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

The
news
Use synonyms
 connects
people
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 with society.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
news
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 can produce a huge impact on
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 thoughts. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the vision that the
media
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 industry has a powerful influence on
people
Use synonyms
's lives
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development. All of
this
Linking Words
 is because a select group of editors and journalists can influence an entire society
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they have violated the free-choice rights.
Fist
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First
show examples
 of all, a few
news
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 editors can access
to
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apply
show examples
millions of
people
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 in a matter of seconds by communicating their ideas on social
media
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. They are able to ingest several smartphone notifications in order to capture our attention. Once they accomplish their task, they can build our mindsets over time
according to
Linking Words
 their purposes.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is an
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
 called
Qanon
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QAnon
show examples
 which has infected social
media
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 with several fake
news
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.
Check wording
stories.
show examples
Qanon
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QAnon
show examples
 owns many online magazines and
media
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 providers
over
Change preposition
on
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 the internet
,
Punctuation problem
;
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as a result
Linking Words
, they were reaching millions of
people
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 in seconds. As a matter of fact, in 2016, they changed the USA election results by transmitting
several
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
fake
news
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. On the other side, social
media
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 have repeatedly violated our human rights by allowing
to
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apply
show examples
news
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 distributors
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, Twitter
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linkedin
Use the right word
LinkedIn
show examples
decide
Verb problem
to decide
show examples
 whether
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 true or not.
This
Linking Words
 market structure is clearly a monopoly which attempts to our rights to make free choices about what we decide to consume as
news
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, during the
last
Linking Words
 United States election, Donald Trump claimed
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
 fraud
committed
Verb problem
was committed
show examples
 by his rivals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the CEO of Twitter decided to close Trump's account.
Thus
Linking Words
, Twitter does not allow
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to make a free choice about
Trump
Check wording
Trump's
show examples
 claims. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 industry
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
too much our societies
Correct word order
our societies too much
show examples
. They have a tremendous power to change mindsets
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they have violated our right to make free choices.

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task
Be clear if you agree or not in the start. Say your view and make it plain. Then give two or three straight reasons and some proof.
coherence
Plan your text. Use four simple parts: intro, two body parts, short end. Use linking words to show order.
grammar
Check small mistakes and grammar. Fix 'Fist' to 'First', fix odd word use, and check tense.
example
Use examples that fit the topic and are easy to explain. Explain how the example supports your point.
strength
The view is clear and kept through the essay.
strength
Some real examples are used to back a point.
strength
The ending repeats the view well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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