The news about violent crimes may frighten people or, on the contrary, encourage them to commit a crime. Therefore, some believe that these types of news should not be reported in newspapers or on TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#news #crimes #people #crime #believe #newspapers #tv

Abusive crimes news causes several impacts for the news receivers

such

as fearfulness, In stark contrast,

however

, it gives idea for the news followers to do the crime.

Hence

, a group of people consensus that newspapers or television should not broadcast any kind of violent crimes news.

Therefore

, ahead

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show examples

my stance, I believe there are a lot of pros related to

this

, and

this

viewpoint will be discussed to reach its

logic

Replace the word

logical

show examples

conclusion. There are several

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

about

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

why abusive crimes should be shown

Verify preposition usage

show examples

TV and newspaper.

Firstly

, it gives some benefits

for

Verify preposition usage

show examples

us. Because it gives information

such

as the location, and when was it happen, to make us more aware and more secure.

Secondly

, to know how to prevent if

this

kind of case is facing us.

For instance

, we can keep emergency number earlier,

such

as ambulances, polices and hospital.

Thirdly

, women are always seen as

Add an article

show examples

eak subject, in so many cases women are often become the victims.

Hence

, as women, we are able to learn the art of self-defence in case it

happen

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happens

show examples

to us in the future.

On the other hand

, the television still able to broadcast

the violent crimes news

Change to a genitive case

the news of the violent crime

the news of the violent crimes

show examples

with

Add an article

the

show examples

ondition. It can be shown only in some special time.

For example

, special for news about crimes can be put in adult hours.

This

means

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apply

show examples

Add an article

the

show examples

ime where children

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are

show examples

usually not watching

Change the noun form

tvs

show examples

such

late night

Add a hyphen

late-night

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hours and dawn times. To conclude, it is clear that violent crimes news are allowed to be shown

Verify preposition usage

show examples

television and newspaper.

However

, the positive way to see it and the condition are the main keys that should be underlined. I personally hope that

this

essay can be

Add an article

show examples

ecommendation for people who

is disagree

Change the verb form

disagrees

show examples

to see abuse crime news both in newspaper and TV.

Submitted by hadi.fatimah on Thu Nov 26 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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