Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

There is a currently a contentious argument over whether having a set retirement as 65 years for everybody is unfair. Some people defend that certain kinds of workers deserve to retire and receive a
pension
before
this
. I totally agree with
this
argument and
this
essay looks at some reasons that support
this
opinion and suggest some examples to illustrate
this
. The main reason why I believe that some workers need to receive a
pension
from de government before 65 years old is the fact that some jobs affect more the body and the brain than others. Activities that involve security or strong contact with the public needs to be analysed carefully. It is common to see people which have been working for 15 or 20 years in
this
kind of occupation showing a lot of health problems, and because of
this
, they need to retire early. To support the notion
that is
necessary to anticipate the
pension
for some works I can talk about my mother. She worked as a teacher for 20 years and when she was 45 years old she discovered that it will be impossible to continue what she was doing because she had serious problems with her voice. Because of
this
, a retire was approved by justice. The main reason was the excessive use of her voice in class, proving
that is
necessary take care of teachers in a different way,
that is
mean do not put them for a long time in classes. In conclusion, I completely agree that 65 years old is not a good age for all workers to retire. Professions like police officers and teachers deserve to receive a
pension
at an earlier age because these kinds of jobs cause health and psychological problems more than others.
Submitted by lourinaldojr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: