IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #purchase #product
It is believed by some that products must be purchased based on the needs rather than just following the advertisement shown by the companies. In my opinion, I agree with
this
 statement and think needs are more important than advertisements.
First
 of all, I believe that
n
Add an article
the
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eeds and requirement of a
person
gives
Change the verb form
give
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 people more satisfaction when they purchase any item rather than just following the trend of
a
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the
an
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dvert. Even if a
person
 buys any product by following the announcement, he will eventually
regrets
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regret
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 it as
this
money
 could have bought him the products which actually satisfy his demands.
For example
, a
person
 who is hardly earning his bread would be
more
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apply
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happier if he spends
his
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he
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 earned
money
 on buying products which actually does
provides
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provide
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 him
Verify preposition usage
with
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happiness rather than just copying the people. That's why it is more important to spend the precious
money
 on products that a
person
 actually requires rather than just following the trend of
a
Add an article
the
an
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dvert.
Secondly
, advertisements sometimes
puts
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put
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 a
person
 into trouble as it leads to spending
money
 on products that are not actually required.
In other words
, there is a strong relation between buying products according to needs and sense of fulfilment. People who spend
money
 on products by following the announcements eventually
regrets
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regret
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 it.
For example
, If a
person
spend
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spends
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money
 on entertainment by following the movie announcements, he will regret it as he would have purchased
a great products
Correct the article-noun agreement
great products
a great product
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 with
s
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the
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ame amount that could
fulfill
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fulfil
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 his desires and demands.
Thus
, Advantages of spending an amount of
money
 on needy products outweigh the drawbacks of spending
money
 on products just by following the advert. To conclude, I strongly believe that it is always a good idea to spend the precious earned
money
 according to needs as it gives a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and satisfaction.
Submitted by shwetadevgan5 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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