The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Any act that causes harm to another individual or a group of people, is considered
as
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a

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c
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a

The noun phrase crime seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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rime. Crimes are done with an intention to hurt someone intentionally. Crime rates of young offenders are definitely on the rise and researchers say that there has been over 52% increase in crime by youngers below the age of 18. Many opine that it is solely the outcome of bad parenting and that parents need
b
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to

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e taught better parenting skills. But, I do not totally blame them for it. We live in a time and place where society plays a major role in moulding an individual. Societal pressures have both positive and negative impact on the younger generations as they tend to take in everything like a sponge. Today’s generation is exposed to a variety of digital devices through which they can watch or share anything according to their whims and fancies. Even today’s entertainment industry has become nonchalant in screening the content they broadcast and label them as ‘U’. Genres like horror, sci-fi etc now show scenes of
cold blooded
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cold-blooded

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murder, rape and other crimes and are considered as just another snippet in the movie. News broadcasting channels are no better as they show disturbing content including videos, pictures, controversial interviews that disturb the young minds and make them ruthless. Some detractors may opine that parents have the sole control over their children and that better parenting skills would make them better children. Parents can influence the children to a certain
extend
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extent

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and can imbibe good value system to the youngster, but other influences like friends, bad company, society, digital media
also
play a vital role in creating pivotal changes to the youngster’s mindset. In conclusion, I do not agree
to
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with

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the idea that teaching parenting skills to parents are the only way to reduce
c
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the

It appears that an article is missing before the word crime. Consider adding the article.

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rime rate of young offenders.
However
, it can be one of the steps towards achieving the goal
to
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of

It appears that the preposition to may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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creating a better thought process in our younger generation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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