IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many educational institutions give greater importance to subjects related to science and ignore subjects such as drama and literature. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#institutions #importance #subjects #science #drama #literature #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many schools are more likely to emphasize STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) and give more importance to them, whereas art is being ignored. I think
this
Linking Words
 is a logically motivated decision but overall negative development. To start with, one implication of the challenge could be pointed out as following remarkable shifts in education tendencies, the circumstances in which subjects related to discipline play crucial role in educational institutions seems to have become more widespread. Sufficient findings show that choosing science field is less risk attended. To be more precise, the government offers more grants to exact sciences
such
Linking Words
 as math, biology, physics, astronomy, whereas craft programmes are usually self-paid.
Therefore
Linking Words
, students in senior year of school are more tend to choose discipline-related subjects.
Thus
Linking Words
, hardy anybody can refuse to accept that it is extremely challenging to underestimate
this
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, some experts who claim that over-emphasis on information could effect to less craft in the world could consider the point mentioned above debatable. If the disparity between system and profession majors increases, there will be fewer painters, authors, poets. There will be less diversity in craft,
consequently
Linking Words
,society will become culturally poorer. People could create modern conveniences, but arts are more important for fulfilling and enjoyable life.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is essential to weigh all the facets of every particular situation. To sum up, the latter judgment is more convincing since it is backed up by my own experience, for I am a social worker who understands the importance of art.
Submitted by www_anel_girl on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: