Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people agree that local
governments
have
their
Change the word
the
show examples
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
of investing
Change preposition
to invest
show examples
money in creating more works of art like
painting
Fix the agreement mistake
paintings
show examples
and statues in
cities
in order to provide a comfortable, picturesque living
environment
.
However
, I opine that local
governments
should use their annual
budgets
more wisely and invest in essential sectors
such
as
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system, health care service and pollution prevention
instead
of in
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.
Firstly
, more
arts
in public around the
cities
may
lead
Verb problem
make
show examples
urban views more beautiful and attractive
while
Correct word choice
but
show examples
it is not a necessary element to maintain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high quality of
life
for local
residents
.
As comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
to increasing
budgets
in art creations to create stunning street views, other strategies
such
as constructing more local roads to reduce traffic jams, planting more trees along the roads, especially in inner
cities
, and hiring more cleaning workers to keep streets clean are more important and efficient in providing lovely and well-organized urban living habitats for local
residents
to enjoy their lives.
In addition
,
arts
provide a sense of beauty for their audiences, but they are not essential for
residents
' daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Although
modern
arts
may enhance urban views and create some unique features for local cultures, well-organized and well-funded
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
and excellent educational institutes play a crucial role in
residents
' daily
life
. People can live without
arts
in
cities
while
social services are definitely disturbed by the lack of proper and well-operating schools or hospitals.
Hence
, investing limited annual
budgets
in creating
arts
across the
cities
is not a wise strategy
whereas
spending money on fundamental facilities is a key step to create a better living
environment
for local
residents
.
Finally
, the majority of
residents
commonly strive for a
city
with clean air and close-zero pollution to raise their families
instead
of seeking modern
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
.
Thus
, eliminating and preventing all kinds of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
is a key point for local
governments
to make their
cities
more environmentally friendly and attractive. Clean air, abundant trees and well-organized residential communities are more significant for
residents
' daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
than
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. Unless a
city
is extremely wealthy with high annual revenue, the annual budget should not be used
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
creating
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
to make a better living
environment
.
However
, only a small proportion of the annual budget on
arts
may be acceptable. In conclusion,
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
budgets
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
local
governments
are limited.
Arts
may enhance the beauty of a
city
, but a lean living
environment
with low pollution, well-organized public facilities
such
as hospitals and schools, and well-developed civil blueprints are more crucial to provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
for local
residents
.
Therefore
, it is unwise to invest money in creating
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
to decorate the
city
.
Submitted by busybee1693 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all examples and arguments are directly relevant to the question. Use specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Develop stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: