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Band 6.5

some people feel that young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others, however, believe that young people should be free to behave as individual. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #traditions #society
It is argued that the young should follow traditional perspectives while others convince that the youngsters should b
e behaved
Change to the active voice
behave
have behaved
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freely. In my opinion, I completely agree that conventional norms should be preserved by the young
generation
. On the one hand, the young
generation
 should respect traditional notions.
First
 and foremost, there are many worth experiences for the young from the old
generation
.
For example
, grandparents have a tendency to teach their o
ff-spring
Correct your spelling
offspring
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about the importance of being hard-working. If the young would realize the value of
this
 characteristic and be hard-working in studying, they would achieve successful results. What is more, conventional festivals give the youngsters a chance to have better relationships with their relatives.
For instance
, the role of Tet holiday is of great importance for the community. On
this
 occasion, family members come back home and stay together for some days,
also
, they can spend time visiting their relatives.
As a result
, t
he y
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apply
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oungsters can remember their cousins and learn how to respect and take care of them.
On the other hand
, the young should be given a chance to behave themselves.
Firstly
, In modern life, t
he y
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apply
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oungsters should be familiar with new changes,
therefore
, they have to find a way to deal with the development of society. Being conventional might not be suitable in some situations which demand modern thinking. It means,
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the young
generation
 h
ave
Change the verb form
has
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to be creative and be distinct from the others to be in the spotlight.
Secondly
, behaving freely makes the young to be more confident. Living themselves motivate the young on the ground that they can reveal their own special traits which make them different from the others.
For instance
, the youngsters who are in LGBT can illustrate their real character,
therefore
, they become happy and have a meaningful life. In conclusion, the young should conserve conventions while they should be given c
h
Add an article
the
a
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ance to have freedom in their life.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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