IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places
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To agree or Disagree with the statement whether the state should spend more capital on the arts and structures to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living pl is an important issue. putting the discussion
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 wider context, many
people
Use synonyms
 agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the statement that the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend more money to make cities more attractive by spending money on arts and crafts.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 wholeheartedly believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should focus on the other aspects which are more important to provide
better
Add an article
a better
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 and
safe
Correct word choice
safer
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place
Use synonyms
 for
living
Replace the word
live
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
I will share some thoughts to support my side. followed by some aspects
against
Change preposition
apply
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that will be presented. on the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
 agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend the majority of their
Use synonyms
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to improve the infrastructure of the
city
Use synonyms
 so that, the increasing population can
accommodate
Wrong verb form
be accommodated
show examples
 efficiently.
for instance
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,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 of wider roads and
implementing
Replace the word
implementation
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signals
Change preposition
of signals
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 across the
city
Use synonyms
 can be helpful
to control
Change preposition
in controlling
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raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 traffic in the urban area. which is one of the important
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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 nowadays.
apart from
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this
Linking Words
, the
government
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 administration should
also
Linking Words
 invest the
Use synonyms
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 in improving safety
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
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 across the
city
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
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 example authority should invest
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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 in instaling surveillance
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 across the local area which, could be helpful
to regulate
Change preposition
in regulating
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 unlawful activity.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, few
people
Use synonyms
 disagree with the statement for many reasons. The most important one is that the
government
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 pay attention to the
city
Use synonyms
's ambience to make the
city
Use synonyms
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 attractive and livable
place
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
 of, spending the majority of
Use synonyms
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 toward safety and infrastructure.
for example
Linking Words
, the installation of statues of various known
people
Use synonyms
 will help locals to remember
good
Correct article usage
the good
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 deeds of their heroes.
therefore
Linking Words
 spending money toward the restoration of the historic structure is equally important. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
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many
people
Use synonyms
 vary their
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 about how the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend their
Use synonyms
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
. I strongly believe that investing more capital
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 infrastructure and safety is the ideal way to make the
city
Use synonyms
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 livable and safe
place
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
.
however
Linking Words
, The beauty of a
place
Use synonyms
 is equally important and cannot be ignored
Submitted by swatipatel1305 on

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task response
Provide clearer examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical order.
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