Do children behave better when they are physical punished or rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is clearly visible that the
behaviour
Use synonyms
of children
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a shift for better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they are physically punished or rewarded,
however
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
both the techniques have their advantages and disadvantages. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss both views of the argument and explain my support for the former view. Nowadays, modern parents struggle to find
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
time and energy to discipline their
child
Use synonyms
. Due to their strenuous jobs, often times the attention is divided.
As a result
Linking Words
, the offspring gets the
short hand
Correct your spelling
shorthand
show examples
of the stick. In
s
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ituation where bad conduct is exhibited by the
child
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
of providing the right guidance of correction because of the lack of enthusiasm , the mother and father
chooses
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
to provide a gift, hoping that the
behaviour
Use synonyms
improves.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a home environment, if the adolescent is creating a fuss for unnecessary reasons,
instead
Linking Words
of correcting the
child
Use synonyms
, parents would offer unhealthy treats
such
Linking Words
as chocolates or candies in order them to stop acting the way they are. All that the
child
Use synonyms
learnt was that, if they conduct in an improper manner, that results in goodies. In the past, parents used a variety
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
physical punishment techniques in order
c
Add the particle
to
show examples
orrect their youngsters. From the use of a stick
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
to the scale.
This
Linking Words
resulted in realisation, which led to
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
improved
behaviour
Use synonyms
for the long run. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
point, I would like to share a time from my childhood. Whenever I would throw a fit and chuck all my toys around, the
next
Linking Words
moment I received a knock of my back. It wasn't a pleasant experience or memory, but I learnt not to fling things around. In my opinion, the mother and father are equally responsible in enabling their kids to realise their mistakes and
that is
Linking Words
possible only by a form of
tangilble
Correct your spelling
tangible
punishment which will lead to a long-term improved
behaviour
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
of relying on temporary solutions based on rewards.
Submitted by nikitasarkar10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: