IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
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With technological advancements,the boom of social media has many negative implications
on
Change preposition
for
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 a person and society
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. Many argue that social platforms like Facebook and Instagram negatively influence an individual.
Also
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, the evidence of increasing cyber-crimes makes me feel to some extent
this
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 opinion holds true and the reasons for my inclination are presented in the
further
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 essay.
To begin
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 with the argument in favour of social media, it provides a hassle-free way to connect to
people
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 all around the world. In the present day, time and distance do not matter at all because of social
sites
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.
For example
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, Facebook allows
people
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 to connect and become friends regardless of the distance between them.
Thus
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, these public platforms are not completely perilous for society.
On the other hand
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, the alarming rate of
cyber-crime
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
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 has compelled
people
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 to understand the harmful effects of networking websites.
Firstly
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, the loss of privacy is a crucial issue. There is no private space on these
sites
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, anyone can access
as well as
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 misuse our personal details like contact
number
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numbers
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,
address
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addresses
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 or even photographs.
Moreover
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, it is challenging to find a real person on these platforms.
People
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 very conveniently make fake identities and cheat the other person.
Hence
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, Facebook or any other
such
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 site cater to
criminals
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criminals'
criminal's
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easy access to the private lives of the citizens. In conclusion, rather than diminishing the boundaries around the countries social interactive
sites
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has
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have
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 somehow helped criminals to misuse
it
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them
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.
Hence
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, the rules should be implemented for
a
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apply
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restricted and positive usage of social
sites
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by JIGISHA on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, aiding in the overall structure of the essay. However, ensure that each paragraph is linked logically to the next, providing a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly addressed in the essay. Include more specific examples to support your arguments and strengthen your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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