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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Humans tend to copy one another, especially in fashion, choice of clothes, and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#humans #copy #fashion #choice #clothes #consumer #goods
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As regards the way people dress and the products that they buy humans tend to purchase the same items as other people in society. Personally, I agree entirely with
this
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 statement and in the following paragraphs reasons for
this
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 standpoint shall be explained.
Firstly
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, humans replicate the behaviour of others as it gives them a feeling of security and belonging.
This
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Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
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 encourages them to dress
similarly
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 and own the same products. Individuals who choose not to adhere to the same social norms as others tend to face discrimination and are less likely to be able to progress in life to the same degree.
For instance
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, one certain sub-culture of the UK is known as ‘Goths’ and they traditionally wear all black clothes as an indication of their membership
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
this
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 group. These individuals are often perceived as not part of mainstream society and may
therefore
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 be treated differently. Allied to the above, humans are competitive by
nature
Use synonyms
 and
this
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 characteristic often forces people to make purchases as a way to indicate how successful they are in life. The more successful they are the more indulgent their purchases become.
However
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, there is a trend for people to buy the same things,
first
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 a better car,
then
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 a bigger more luxurious house, and
then
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 perhaps a longer holiday.
However
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, all of these items tend to be very similar in their core
nature
Use synonyms
.
Afterall
Correct your spelling
After all
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, there really is not a significant difference between the 2018 and the 2017 version of Nike Air trainers. Overall, human
nature
Use synonyms
 and their need for a sense of security ensure that they shall inevitably continue to purchase items that are similar in
nature
Use synonyms
. For these reasons, I maintain my position that humans do base their behaviour and spending patterns on what other members of society are
also
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 buying.
Submitted by hnamca on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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