10. Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are several comments
a
Add a pronoun
that
show examples
rgue that the community could be harmonious and happier if the financial dissimilarities between the affluent and the well-on people are wider gradually. In my own’s perspective, I partially disagree with
this
notion, due to the lack of keen competition and motto of life of individuals in
society
.
This
paper is going cast light on and figure out some examples to prove it. On
s
Add an article
the
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ubjective side, it is undeniable that harsh conditions and fierce competitions are inner motive to encourage the development of
society
and industry. The fact that without the competitiveness human are
frequenly
Correct your spelling
frequently
lack of personal efforts. To exemplify,
instead
of
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
or enhance their self-worth by gathering more academic knowledge or broaden their knowledge to increase their
productivity
Replace the word
production
show examples
value and working performance, low-income people in some developed countries are
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
on monthly financial public welfare, they regularly enjoy
s
Add an article
the
a
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edentary lifestyle and costly recreational, like
g
Add an article
a
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amble,
pocker
Correct your spelling
poker
.
This
is not only set a bad example on
c
Add an article
the
show examples
ommunity
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
shoulder
m
Add an article
the
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ore heavy burden on social welfares and
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
budgets.
Thus
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
prosperity dwellers should be received financial support to some reasonable extent. On the
society
aspect, the positive attitude of economically weaker people poses a good motivation
of
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
life together with high spirit. Obviously,
this
trend creates an equal
society
and assist people to overcome all difficulties and even misleading direction.
For instance
, people
h
Add a pronoun
who
show examples
ave
c
Add an article
a
show examples
riminal record are often have a chance to rehabilitate in jail. If they can take advantage of training job and skillfully, they completely have a good chance
go
Correct your spelling
to
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earn a good living career as blue-collar workers after being
release
Correct your spelling
released
show examples
from jail. Thereby, broaden the horizon and conveyancing inspiration to aid economically unfortunate people
are
Change the verb form
are also playing
show examples
also
play a crucial role
besides
providing financial aid. In conclusion, those aforementioned element and measure in companion with the harsh competition of modern
society
as far as positive images, who try too hard to pass over the poor financial situation are in need to
widely
Change the adverb
wide
show examples
propaganda to gain the public concerned.
Submitted by Tạ Minh Hiếu on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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