Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are several comments
a
rgue that the community could be harmonious and happier if the financial dissimilarities between the affluent and the well-on people are wider gradually. In my own’s perspective, I wholeheartedly disagree with Add a pronoun
that
this
notion, due to the lack of keen competition and motto of life of individuals in society
. This
paper is going cast light on and figure out some examples to prove it.
On s
ubjective side, it is undeniable that harsh conditions and fierce competitions are inner motive to encourage the development of Add an article
the
society
and industry. The fact that without the competitiveness human are frequently lack of personal efforts. To exemplify, instead
of improving or enhancing their self-worth by gathering more academic knowledge or broaden their knowledge to increase their productivity
value and working performance, low-income people in some developed countries are Replace the word
production
depend
on monthly financial public welfare, they regularly enjoy Replace the word
dependent
s
edentary lifestyle and costly recreational, like Add an article
the
a
g
amble, Add an article
a
pocker
. Correct your spelling
poker
This
is not only set a bad example on c
ommunityAdd an article
the
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
shoulder m
ore heavy burden on social welfares and national budgets. Add an article
the
Thus
, less
prosperity dwellers should be received financial support to some reasonable extent.
On the Change the quantifier
fewer
society
aspect, the positive attitude of economically weaker people poses a good motivation of
life together with high spirit. Obviously, Verify preposition usage
for
this
trend creates an equal society
and assist people to overcome all difficulties and even misleading direction. For instance
, people h
ave Add a pronoun
who
c
riminal record are often have a chance to rehabilitate in jail. If they can take advantage of training job and skillfully, they completely have a good chance to earn a good living career as blue-collar workers after being released from jail. Thereby, broaden the horizon and conveyancing inspiration to aid economically unfortunate people are Add an article
a
also
playing a crucial role besides
providing financial aid.
In conclusion, those aforementioned element
and measure in companion with the harsh competition of modern Change the determiner
that aforementioned element
society
as far as positive images, who try too hard to pass over the poor financial situation in need to propaganda widely to gain the public concerned.Submitted by Tạ Minh Hiếu on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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