Should Children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better for them to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these views and give your own answer.

In
this
essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides of the topic and conclude it with my opinion. In
this
modern-day
Correct your spelling
modern day
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
age, it is important for a child to be pushed to be a go-getter especially in sports activities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and other physical exercises.
That is
because these practices help the kid to develop
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong mental, and physical strength. It will give
an
Correct pronoun usage
them an
show examples
extra boost and
pushes
Correct subject-verb agreement
push
show examples
them hard to excel. It creates a sense of believing in
ones-self
Correct your spelling
oneself
show examples
. These extra-curricular activities help a kid even when they grow up and are in a work environment.
In other words
, they are able to handle work pressure
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and stress in a much better way.
On the other hand
, there has to be
cautious
Replace the word
caution
show examples
when you are training them. The reason for
this
is,
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
child can be so involved in achieving the goal and when they are unable to reach it, it might bring down
the
Change the word
their
show examples
morale and confidence.
This
can lead to depression and anxiety.
In addition
, it can
also
lead to isolation and
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
show examples
hatred towards the other person.
Hence
, it is vital for proper guidance on how to tackle
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and overcome
loses
Replace the word
losses
show examples
.
As a result
,
this
, in turn, creates healthy competition, and even if things don't go well, the relationship with the other person is not affected but in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
it can create a close personal bond. In conclusion, yes, it is important for a child to aim to win but it
also
is important for them to be able to absorb defeats
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and co-exist with various people.
This
will benefit both individuals.
Submitted by nuthanjohn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt, including discussing both sides of the issue and giving your own opinion. Make sure to use specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas in a more logical manner and improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use transition words to connect your ideas more effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: