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Band 5

Should Children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better for them to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these views and give your own answer.

#children #sports #activities #people
In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
the
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sides of the topic and conclude it with my opinion. In
this
modern-day
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modern day
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and
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age, it is important for a child to be pushed to be a go-getter especially in sports activities
,
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 and other physical exercises.
That is
 because these practices help the kid to develop
a
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strong mental, and physical strength. It will give
an
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them an
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 extra boost and
pushes
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push
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 them hard to excel. It creates a sense of believing in
ones-self
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oneself
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. These extra-curricular activities help a kid even when they grow up and are in a work environment.
In other words
, they are able to handle work pressure
,
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 and stress in a much better way.
On the other hand
, there has to be
cautious
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caution
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 when you are training them. The reason for
this
 is,
a
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that a
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child can be so involved in achieving the goal and when they are unable to reach it, it might bring down
the
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their
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 morale and confidence.
This
 can lead to depression and anxiety.
In addition
, it can
also
 lead to isolation and
creates
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create
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 hatred towards the other person.
Hence
, it is vital for proper guidance on how to tackle
,
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 and overcome
loses
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losses
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.
As a result
,
this
, in turn, creates healthy competition, and even if things don't go well, the relationship with the other person is not affected but in
fact
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fact,
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 it can create a close personal bond. In conclusion, yes, it is important for a child to aim to win but it
also
 is important for them to be able to absorb defeats
,
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 and co-exist with various people.
This
 will benefit both individuals.
Submitted by nuthanjohn on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt, including discussing both sides of the issue and giving your own opinion. Make sure to use specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas in a more logical manner and improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use transition words to connect your ideas more effectively.

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