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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Space travel has been made possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In recent decades,
space
Use synonyms
trip
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 has been made possible along with the
development
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 of technology.
Although
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 some maintain that ordinary people
also
Linking Words
 could go to
space
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 in the future, I insist that
this
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 is a negative
trend
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. Many
claim
Change to a plural noun
claims
show examples
 that the
development
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 of
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s
Add an article
a
show examples
pace
trip
Use synonyms
 for average people is positive because
this
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trend
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 will boost the economy. As a
space
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trip
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 develops, the demand for
space
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 travel businesses
such
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 as travel agents and manufacturer of spaceship rises, contributing to an increase in employment.
Also
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, the advancement of brand-new businesses associated with
space
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trip
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 is
also
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 expected. The more customers go to
space
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, the more comfortable and enjoyable
trip
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 they require, allowing many industries to enter
space
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 tourism.
Furthermore
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,
this
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development
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 encourages people to learn about
space
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.
Space
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trip
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 enables them to experience
space
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 activities at
first
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 hand which they have just learnt at school and watched on TV, stimulating them to be interested in
space
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.
However
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, I believe that developing
space
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 tourism is a negative
trend
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 because
this
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 leads to significant environmental destruction.
This
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development
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 requires
spacecrafts
Correct your spelling
spacecraft
 to be launched frequently, and they will release an excess amount of harmful chemicals into the air.
As a result
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, these chemicals deteriorate air pollution.
Moreover
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,
this
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trend
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 accelerates the exhaustion of natural resources. Due to an increase
of
Verify preposition usage
in
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w
Add an article
the
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orld population, the shortness of these resources has already been a serious concern around the world. Adding to
this
Linking Words
, if
space
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 shuttles which require a greater volume of fuel and metal than regular aircraft work for
space
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 tourism, they will quickly deplete available natural resources.
Consequently
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, many people on
the
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apply
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earth will not able to keep the current standard of living. In conclusion, I believe that the
development
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 of
space
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 travel for ordinary people is negative because
this
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 will accelerate environmental destruction and shortness of natural resources.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancement in technology
  • Scientific knowledge
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Inequality
  • Regulation
  • Sustainable practices
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