With the pressure of today's people to succeed academically, some people believe that non academic subjects at school(like physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #school #education #cookery #syllabus #children

Education is an essential part of everyone's life, it can be academic and non-academic. Some people think that regular subjects are more useful in today's era.

However

, some populace believes that physical education is included with main subjects as well. I strongly agree with the latter statement and will discuss my points in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, school is the best place where everyone can achieve their learning skills, whether it be through academic and non-academic subjects

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if children concentrate only on main subjects than it can become them bookish , due to regular studies they may lead them towards hazardous diseases like as overweight, hypertension and etcetera.

Besides

this

, if non-academic subjects are excluded from schooling curriculum

this

will raise an unfit generation.

Furthermore

, physical education should

must

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be included in the syllabus when they are in their starting phase of teenage,

then

they will learn the value of physical education is equal as an academic study, with the help of

this

country can get a new milkha Singh and Sania mirza.

In addition

, if they are diverse towards their goals they may make their future bright. To conclude, students are

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the

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uture of every country, they should become professionalism in multiple areas.

Therefore

, different kinds of option should available in the initial phase of children.

Submitted by singh54987 on Sat Dec 19 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With the pressure of today's people to succeed academically, some people believe that non academic subjects at school(like physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom.

People eat more processed food now than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What might be the results?

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city.Discuss both views and give your opinion.