IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
With the changing times, travelling has become an inevitable part of human
life
. People are becoming more
travel
 enthusiast to run away from their busy and hectic routine
life
. But
r
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ecent trend suggests that
n
Change the article
the
show examples
umber of people going on holiday to abroad is increasing and in future
Add a comma
,
show examples
this
 trend will extend to
n
Add an article
the
show examples
ext level. Nowadays the
world
 is getting smaller due to faster and more convenient ways of transportation
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 people can visit any place they wish to. As
c
Add an article
the
show examples
urrent generation is impatient, people don’t want to spend their whole
life
 at
Correct the word
one
show examples
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 place so they want to see and explore the
world
 in search of
b
Add an article
a
show examples
etter lifestyle and opportunities. Some people are reluctant to settle
at
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 one place
hence
 they just
travel
 around different places.
Moreover
Add a comma
,
show examples
people are having more disposable income
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 they spend their money on holidays
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
abroad to show off their extravagant lifestyle.
Trend
Add an article
The trend
show examples
 of exploring different parts of
w
Add an article
the
show examples
orld to know more about cultures, religions and languages will expand in future. One
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
my friend’s uncle once travelled to
U
Correct article usage
the
show examples
SA for holiday but he got fascinated about foreign
life
 so he settled there later.
Also
Add a comma
,
show examples
I was travelled to
M
Correct article usage
the
show examples
aldives for my honeymoon
instead
 of going anywhere in my
country
 because at some time you get used by travelling to almost same places and wish to see other more wonderful places
also
 for experience beauty of the
world
.
On the other hand
Add a comma
,
show examples
there are
also
 a group of people who choose to go on holiday in their own
country
 to support local culture and tradition. By travelling to your own
country
 will enrich the people
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
relying
Change the form of the verb
rely
show examples
 on
travel
 business and can boost
o
Add an article
the
show examples
verall economy as well. Agglomerating all the points described above it can be concluded that people will choose to
travel
 abroad in future for numerous reasons but
also
 some people will stick to their
country
 for
u
Add an article
the
show examples
pliftment of economy and enhancement of
life
 of people residing there.
Submitted by rrjoshi1993 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: