IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that animals and animalproducts should be used for food, medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and experiences.

#people #animals #animalproducts #food #medicine #experiences
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Many-if
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,
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not the most-people believe that animal and animal products should be used in our meal, manufacturing drugs and clothing purposes. The opinion
Verify preposition usage
on
of
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whether animal and animal products should be used in these purposes has been raised due to the adverse effects of
this
 consumption on wildlife sustainability. I agree that
,
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 the usage of animal and animal products is important,
however
, a sensible approach should be adopted since
such
 behaviour could encourage hunting animals and harm wildlife detrimentally. We depend largely on animal and animal products. Animal meat and milk are treated as a popular food habit in almost every culture.
In addition
 to
this
, several animals are used widely for medical purposes to treat different diseases.
Furthermore
, the skin of animals is used for clothing purposes as well.
Therefore
, our dependency on animal and animal products are multi-dimensional, which are significant and not easy to avoid. A more sensible approach should be adopted on the usage of animals and animal products to ensure wildlife prevention. It is because many-if
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,
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not all- animals are found rarely nowadays. If we decide to handle them for luxury goods,
instead
 of meeting the basic or special requirements
such
 as dairy products, medicine, it would be harmful to their extinction.
Thus
, we need to be conscious and reassess the (excessive) use of animals and animal products. To sum up, we must accept the fact that
the
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animal products are major raw materials of our food, medicine, and clothing.
Therefore
, we cannot be free of these using suddenly,
However
, responsible use may reduce the adverse effects, and people should be aware of it and government should take impose a law to stop the overuse of animals and animal product.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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