IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write about the following topic. A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #person’s #health #responsibility #government’s #minutes
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It is true that the
government
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 has some important responsibilities.
However
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, I believe a person's
health
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 is not one of them and I think people should care about their own physical and mental condition.
This
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 essay will present arguments to support my opinion.
To begin
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 with, I believe people have to take responsibility for their own
health
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. It is a common thought that the authorities should provide everything to citizens,
nevertheless
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,there are some aspects
that is
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 not
government
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's role and
health
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 is one of them. So, people should maintain a healthy routine to achieve a better condition.
For example
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, strength training is one of the best exercises to our body according to some researchers and I believe it is people's duty to do
such
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 exercise on a regular basis. Unfortunately, we do not see any move from authorities to explain people the importance of
p
Add an article
the
show examples
hysical activity to reach better
health
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.
Furthermore
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, I believe that the
government
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 cannot make people healthier.
In other words
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, the only thing that governors provide for citizens is the treatment of some diseases,
however
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,they do not provide the path to improve physical, social and mental
health
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. To illustrate, Brazil's public
health
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 system is totally designed to help people in extreme conditions rather than helping them to not reach
such
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 conditions. To sum up, I believe people should be more worried about their own well-being
instead
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 of saying that
this
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 is the
government
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's responsibility. They could start by practising some physical exercises
such
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 as strength training and jogging.
Submitted by samirzakur on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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