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Writing Samples
Band 6

with the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

#development #media #youngsters #access #internet #chat #friends #situations
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In our modern world, new inventions and developments are being made day by day,
such
 as social
media
 which allows
people
 to socialize and create a bond with others even if they do not step out of the house no matter how old they are.
However
, social
media
 applications are not a substitute for face-to-face interactions. In fact,
people
 who interact with each other usually want to meet up so as to
further
 strengthen their bond. In that case, malicious
people
 might abuse the innocence of usually the younger generation in
this
 type of situation.
This
 essay will discuss the possible solutions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 danger. The problem occurs mostly when children are unsupervised and not conscious.
Therefore
, the best and easiest
solution
 at a young age is
giving
Change the verb form
to give
show examples
 children consciousness about the danger of talking and giving information about themselves to a person they do not even know. If it does not work,
then
, another
solution
 that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can give might be controlling the sites and apps that children use regularly to avoid them getting into dangerous situations without parents knowing. If that
also
 does not work, the only other
solution
 can be confiscating their phone. After all, it is better for them not to have access to social
media
 rather than something bad happening to them. Confiscating their phone or limiting applications
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they can install is the
last
 thing to do, but it is considered the most effective action to take by forcing them to avoid talking to
people
 they do not know, by not letting them get access to
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. To summarize, these other solutions are secondary to the primary and most effective
solution
, which is informing our youngsters of the dangers
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social
media
 and helping them develop a consciousness that allows them to make good decisions when interacting online. The
last
 three, especially confiscating phones or computers, and
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 choice options.
Submitted by sonatakcaa on

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task achievement
Expand on each solution by providing more detailed examples or explanations on how they could be effectively implemented. This would deepen the essay's insight and practicality.
coherence and cohesion
It's beneficial to introduce a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the essay’s readability and engagement.
coherence and cohesion
Consider carefully structuring your paragraphs to first introduce the problem, followed by the suggested solutions, and then elaborate on these solutions with examples or further details. This will make the argument flow more logically and be more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the prompt by identifying a problem and offering multiple solutions, showing good task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets up the topic well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay maintains a clear focus throughout, sticking to the relevant issue and solutions concerning the safety of young social media users.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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