In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and experience.

#countries #prison #crime #people #education #crimes

In recent years, the increase in

crime

rate

has become controversial around the world. Some people assume that culprits should be managed in

prison

for preventing commit a

crime

again, while others argue that they have to attend some program that

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

a better

education

. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on both statements and extend my ideas.

To begin

with, there are some merits of culprit

education

. More importantly,

this

manner could provide a chance to alter the offender lives.

In other words

, in fact, many and many culprits maintain that they do not have

Add an article

the

show examples

hoice to conduct an improper

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

for surviving due to the lack of

education

which could offer to promote their abilities.

For example

, in Korean, most adolescent criminals commit a

crime

for living expenses, not attended to their school.

Therefore

, people would expect the positive results of giving culprits learnt various program not only

crime

's adverse effects but

also

academical studying process.

However

, using

prison

for reducing the number of

crime

rate

could bring effective results as well.

First

, the recidivism

rate

could reduce temporary because

Add an article

the

show examples

ulprit has to

stuck

Change the verb

stick

show examples

prison

for a while.

Second

, for the local governments noticed to citizens about some culprit inconvenient lifestyle in the

prison

, it could prevent imitation

crime

, while the learning programs which provide a better their lives.

Hence

, it is undeniable that

Add an article

the

show examples

rison's role could bring positive effects by

Add an article

the

show examples

revention of the

crime

. In conclusion, as mentioned above,

although

prison

and offering

education

programs have

Add an article

the

show examples

erits of reducing commuting

crime

, the way of using

prison

is more likely to decrease the

crime

rate

Therefore

, the local governments and relevant organizations should keep the

prison

system.

Submitted by kooji6856 on Tue Dec 29 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of a particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some poeple claim that it is unfair tomhave same age limit in work.Do you agree or disagree?

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree.

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In advertising nowadays, businesses usually highlight and emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why do businesses practice this? Do you think this development is a positive practice or a negative one?