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Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
 Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Almost every day of the week, you can read stories about governments have to consider other aspects as crucial as the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 progress in newspapers. In fact,
this
 issue has aroused much controversy among numerous nations and their society. Some people reckon that a well-performing
economy
 is the foundation of any state in other areas.
On the other hand
, others have debated the idea that
e
Add an article
the
show examples
conomy and other progress have to be taken into account equally.
Therefore
,
this
 is not an easy question to answer,
However
, in
this
 essay both controversial sides of
this
 argument are going to be discussed. On the one hand, economic has to be considered as the most crucial target in every country due to the fact that a lucrative
economy
 results
Add the preposition
in
from
show examples
a larger national budget,
also
 not to be depended on monetary assistance from other countries.
Hence
, the governance will start upgrading the infrastructure and provides its citizens with abundant benefits
such
Verify preposition usage
as
show examples
higher salaries.
Additionally
, by a thriving
economy
, countries will gain a stronger political influence and trading power on the global stage.
For instance
, the US which is the pole of
g
Add an article
the
show examples
lobal
economy
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 200000 million
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 annually, which is allocated to improving
e
Add an article
the
show examples
ducational system and facilitating a vast majority of labs in schools which results
Add the preposition
in
from
show examples
an enormous success in
s
Add an article
the
show examples
cientific field internationally. As every coin has a flip side,
on the other hand
, it is widely believed that other aspects of a nation,
such
 as security, environment, education have to be taken into account.
Furthermore
,
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
citizens’s
Remove the s
citizens’
show examples
 lives as same as a thriving
economy
. According to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research conducted by the Amsterdam University, annually, approximately 10000 people die
as a result
 of the deforestation. As the deforestation cause hazardous amount of CO2 emissions which put people in the prone of death by reducing O2 in the air.
Moreover
, they claim that if countries preserved deforestation at
f
Add an article
the
show examples
irst stages,
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
 enormous number of death would not
occure
Correct your spelling
occur
. In conclusion, I personally opine a well-performing
economy
 is more beneficial for a country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it is a foundation of going forward in other
progresses
Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
show examples
.
Submitted by sinaheli3 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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