IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

#people #access #computers #children #video #games
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to technical advancements, the popularity of computers is increasing day by day and most of the people use them for different purposes
such
Linking Words
 as office work, online shopping browsing for different things and so on. Children, especially love to play video games on them.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the positive as well as negative effects of playing videos games. To start with the benefits of playing games on computers,
firstly
Linking Words
, these games can be a way of relaxation and reducing stress.
This
Linking Words
 is because today's world is extremely competitive and demanding. These games take a person into a different world where he/she can escape far from and forget all about reality.
In addition
Linking Words
, computer games today are very advanced
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and help children to develop their problem-solving skills. Because the instructions given in them are needed to understand to play them. What is more, often these games include critical problems which are important to solve to win the game.
Therefore
Linking Words
, video games are significant for enjoyment and skills development.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the negative aspects
also
Linking Words
 cannot be denied. The
addiction
Correct your spelling
addition
show examples
 of these games spoils children and they play them for hours and hours, and even in nights as well. To illustrate an example, the government of South Korea has banned playing video games after midnight by seeing an increase in problem-related to these games and having a detrimental impact on education.
Moreover
Linking Words
, juveniles are unable to make a difference between real and virtual world, some people argue that digital games lead them towards criminal activities. Because some games can be violent which affects their little brains. To conclude, it is clear that the excess of anything is dangerous. To make computer games useful for the young, parents and teachers need to use caution and monitor their activities so that games can not affect them in a harmful way.
Submitted by manidandiwal000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: