IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. We can learn from books, films and Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #cultures #books #films #internet
Nowadays, with the advanced technology and open world, one can get knowledge about any cultures from different resources like book, movies and
i
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the
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nternet. I believe while
this
 approach may help, we cannot deny the benefit of the real experiences that someone may get by living in the
culture
. While it is a good idea to
star
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start
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 learning about a particular
culture
 through internet, movie or book where we can get some previews
,
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 and ideas, but still it is too early to feel that we know enough about that particular
culture
. It is never the same to
experience
 something or to just know about it.
For instance
, I know a lot about
a
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Japanese
culture
 because I love their way to hold on to their tradition and discipline,
however
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,
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I have always felt l that I need to feel it, and the only way is by travelling to Japan to get to know it fully. Some may argue by saying it is almost the same
experience
 with today’s technology, the only thing you need is computer and internet connection to connect even with locals on the other side of the world.
Although
 it may be helpful to know someone from a
culture
 that you are learning about, we cannot deny the fact that the physical presence in the
culture
 cannot
be replace
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be replaced
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.
For example
, if I say y country is hot and people love to eat hot food and spice food. You may get
this
 info but you may be missing what
are
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is
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 the real feeling on
this
 40degree temperature and having hot drinks and food because knowledge and
experience
 are two different things. To sum up, all things considered, I believe that to learn about any particular
culture
, not only we need to have the knowledge through any resource that we can access but go to the spot and
experience
 it because nothing can be compared by living what you learned.
Submitted by bekitnina on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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