Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

These days actors/actress are well known for their appearance and money but not for

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

accomplishment of their goals.

This

portrays poor instances to

this

generation. I agree to some extent more or less because there are

also

some people who got their trophies for their achievements.

To begin

with, people these days are mostly attracted to the beautiful faces of film actors/actress with lots of makeup. The other one would be money, which highlights them where ever they go to but not for their achievements because nowadays, youngsters are attracted to their amazing features which they build up but not for their hard work. But if any movie star gets a trophy, they are not that much identified as winners but are interested in their looks.

This

gives very bad messages to society. On the flip side, we

also

have great divas who are recognized for their performances. Some of the stars put their lives to make a film succeed.

For instance

, Janaki Garu who was the great actress was recognized as an all-time favourite heroine because of receiving numerous awards. These kinds of people

sets

Change the verb form

set

show examples

the best instances for the current generation. There are

also

some individuals who are appreciated for their presentation. To wrap up, I can say that not everyone is spotted out only for their charming faces and not only for the luxurious lives they live

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

there are few people who admire them for their work and their attainments.

Submitted by sabhidhillon375 on Fri Jan 01 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want on web or phone without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You were recently impressed by a staff member at a supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter. • describe the situation • explain how you were helped • state what you are going to do as a result of this good experience

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient.