Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

These days actors/actress are well known for their appearance and money but not for

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

accomplishment of their goals.

This

portrays poor instances to

this

generation. I agree to some extent more or less because there are

also

some people who got their trophies for their achievements.

To begin

with, people these days are mostly attracted to the beautiful faces of film actors/actress with lots of makeup. The other one would be money, which highlights them where ever they go to but not for their achievements because nowadays, youngsters are attracted to their amazing features which they build up but not for their hard work. But if any movie star gets a trophy, they are not that much identified as winners but are interested in their looks.

This

gives very bad messages to society. On the flip side, we

also

have great divas who are recognized for their performances. Some of the stars put their lives to make a film succeed.

For instance

, Janaki Garu who was the great actress was recognized as an all-time favourite heroine because of receiving numerous awards. These kinds of people

sets

Change the verb form

set

show examples

the best instances for the current generation. There are

also

some individuals who are appreciated for their presentation. To wrap up, I can say that not everyone is spotted out only for their charming faces and not only for the luxurious lives they live

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

there are few people who admire them for their work and their attainments.

Submitted by sabhidhillon375 on Fri Jan 01 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, the government should prioritize healthcare. Others say that there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers' money. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods.while others aruge that customers should avoid buying goods with alot of packaging.Discuss both views and give your opinion.