More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

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In
Correct your spelling
today's
today

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todays
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today's

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fast pacing
world
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, it is the need of the hour to have access to technology that makes living faster and simpler. A number of new devices now take up occupancy in our homes that some many years ago would not have even made sense to our forefathers. These developments have both a positive as well as
n
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a
the

The noun phrase negative impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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egative impact on people. The invention of the television has by far been one of the most significant inventions of our time. It has changed the way the
world
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works and looks at things. Undoubtedly, the television has brought to our doorstep, access to
world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

affairs, documentaries,
informecials
Correct your spelling
infomercials
informercials

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and so many more avenues to facilitate globalisation and insight.
More over
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Moreover

The word More over seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, if used for the right reasons, televisions, radios, music players and other
such
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technological devices, have the potential to bring the
world
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closer and teach us so many new things.
Likewise
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, household appliances
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as microwaves, fridges, rice cookers, toasters, to name a few, make everyday chores so much more
time efficient
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time-efficient

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. People no longer have the time to cook and prepare their meals like one would have had 40-50 years ago. Time is of
e
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the

The noun phrase essence seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ssence and almost a luxury in today's
world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. These electronics make sure to take care of that, making meal preparation as quick as possible.
However
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, with all these benefits come a number of disadvantages. One
such
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con
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coin

The word con doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is the growing laziness, leading to a sedentary lifestyle. People often misuse these luxuries and get used to everything being served to them on a silver platter. They forget the essence of
hardwork
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hard work

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. The overuse of
televesion
Correct your spelling
television
televisions

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, mobiles, laptops and other devices has proven to hinder people's pursuit of their hobbies and sports.
Furthermore
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,
this
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has
also
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lead to growing levels of obesity and health problems as people have become increasingly lethargic, causing lack of exercise to become a rampant problem among today's youth. The
bottomline
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bottom line

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is that
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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it is now easier to eat processed and fast foods, as well as, sit at home
infront
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in front

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of the couch watching movies or
listenting
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listening

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to music, without the need to go out, all thanks to these devices. In conclusion, I infer that advanced technology has given us a quality of life that our ancestors could never have, but
this
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should come with its limits. We as a "woke" society should introspect on how these can
also
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have a negative impact on us and our health and know where to draw the line. We should definitely take advantage of the
priviliges
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privileges

The word priviliges is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

technological advancements have to offer us, but without abusing them and engaging in a
more
Change the word
apply

The double comparative more healthier may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

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healthier lifestyle while doing the same.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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