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Band 6.5

Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept new culture in the foreign country. Others think that they should live as a separate minority group with a different lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #country #culture #minority #group #lifestyle
There is no doubt that children should spend some
time
 with their families, but how much
time
 and its quality is what to be considered. In
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
I will discuss both views and explain why youngsters must not spend all their moments with family. On the one hand, spending
time
 is very essential for psychologic development of children in which that could lead to strengthening bonds between family members.
As a result
, kids will appreciate their parents’ efforts and recognize the value of the family as well.
moreover
, youngsters learn a lot from that
time
, which is actually full of situations and reactions, so the automatically save and process them in their absorbable minds.
In addition
, kids under
s
Add an article
the
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upervision of parents are somehow protected from harmful deeds of others like bullying, which could be physically or mentally affecting.
On the other hand
, to raise up a smart child,
f
Add an article
the
show examples
amily have to encourage him for playing abroad with peers so he is able to deal with numerous circumstances.
As a result
, life experiences may develop
his
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 values and principles.
For example
, a boy who is exposed to
o
Add an article
the
an
show examples
uter environment is much more independent and autonomous than one who is stuck to his.
In other words
, parents had better letting their kid meet other people or more complexes will develop in their inner like shyness, sensitivity, and
thus
 feeling of loneliness. In conclusion, when it comes to how much
time
 that should be spent with parents, the length of
p
Add an article
the
a
show examples
eriod is not
Verify preposition usage
as
show examples
vital as its quality. so I believe parents should force their fears and let them learn by themselves.
Submitted by yusufshaban02 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • assimilate
  • social cohesion
  • integration
  • navigating the job market
  • cultural preservation
  • sense of belonging
  • heritage
  • multiculturalism
  • cultural landscape
  • support network
  • transition
  • multicultural society
  • mutual respect
  • cultural identity
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