IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Now many people think that we are spending too much money and time on protecting wild animals. The money should be better spent on human population. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #time #animals #population
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With the development of
urbanliazation
Correct your spelling
urbanization
,the living spaces and living standards for wild
animals
 are decreasing sharply.In order to protect the living environment of wild
animals
 and make their living standards more suitable,concerning experts and researchers have been making lots of efforts.In the meanwhile,a bulk of
m
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the
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oney being spent on it was
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
.
However
, another effect that
urbanliazation
Correct your spelling
urbanization
 brings about is population increasing,the vital issue we are facing with.Quite many
people
 urge that we should spend more money on control the increase of population rather than helping wild
animals
.I am fully disagreeable with that kind of opinion. Rewinding back to the time when
people
 didn’t
exsist
Correct your spelling
exist
.The owner of the whole world are various
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
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wild
animals
 and without
people
Add a comma
,
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they could live more freely.After the arrival of
people
 ,we began to build our
civilazation
Correct your spelling
civilization
.In
this
 process we were regarding
this
planet
 as our home we should have had with dismissing the need
of
Verify preposition usage
for
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 wild
animals
.We cut the forests wild
animals
 relied on to live to install buildings for peoples’ living.Polluting ocean where underseas creatures’ home.What’s worse,now we start to try to forget the existence of wild
animals
 ,reforming
this
planet
 as
people
 want with showing no kindness,which is totally out of
t
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the
a
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hought of selfishness of human beings.
Besides
,protecting wild
animals
 is to protect
c
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the
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ompetence of creatures' variety.Try to think of if without
animals
 only human lives
in
Verify preposition usage
on
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this
planet
,how achromatic it would be.Nowadays,blaming on
g
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the
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rowth of warmness around the world and modern peoples' living style.The fade of wild
animals
 is not a tiny issue with getting more and more serious.On the base of the fact that money should be spent on to protect wild
animals
，reducing the expense on it would only push us to counter with the arrival of a time with high-tech level but no
color
Change the spelling
colour
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 of creatures' variety. The rapid increase of population is an issue to be settled though,the act of sacrificing the wild
animals
 obviously is not a wise approach.Only regarding them as our mates who are living with us on the earth together,
l
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the
a
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ife of the
planet
 could be prolonged
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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