Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable while others think that it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As
university
education
is the
last
stage before the starting of career, many people believe that it prepares
students
for employment only, but the fact is that it serves a lot many purposes. In
this
essay I shall discuss the various functions of a
university
and how helps the
students
to become successful in
further
life . Universities provide specialised
education
in fields
such
as medical, engineering, commerce etc. They provide library facilities, which support the curriculum. They provide laboratory facilities for science and
Add a hyphen
technology-related

It appears that technology related is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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technology related
subjects. They send
students
to factories and industries so that they get practical experience.
This
job-oriented training helps them to understand the working conditions and
also
gives them an idea about competition in the market. They will have the chance to gain real experience and learn practical skills related to their chosen profession.
This
may lead to promotions and a successful career.
On the other hand
, it is
also
understandable that many
students
choose to continue their studies.
Secondly
, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive and needs qualified workers , and sometimes there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. Young people who do not have qualifications from a
university
or college may not be able to compete. with others but
also
there are
Correct your spelling
a lot

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alot
of people
Change the pronoun
who

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which
can create self-made projects which can
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help

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helps
them to take a position in a company. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for starting work straight after school, but higher
education
can
also
lead to a successful career.there are can be no doubt that
education
is a path which leads on more opportunities but
also
famous entrepreneurs built empires without
Add an article
a

The noun phrase university degree seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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u
niversity degree

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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