IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 move to metropolitan cities to get better facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as education, employment, and medical
services
Use synonyms
etcetera
Punctuation problem
, etcetera
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the only way to reduce the overpopulation
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cities is to prevent
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
come from
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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. In my point of view,
this
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 is not an appropriate solution to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 problem. To commence with, there are some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 have migrated to urban areas at
the
Correct article usage
one
show examples
top
Check wording
apply
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of
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is adequate facilities. To be precise, in the urban
sectors
Add a comma
sectors,
show examples
 there is a wide range of resources
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
available, which made our ways of living susceptible,
such
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 as good education,
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of occupations and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper health premises. To epitome, these
services
Use synonyms
 are limited in villages, so
people
Use synonyms
 left their homes to search for a better way of living;
as a result
Linking Words
, they prefer to settle in a well-developed division.
On the other hand
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, there are some possible measures to solve
this
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 issue. The first and foremost one is
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 government should provide appropriate health
services
Use synonyms
, so in an emergency,
people
Use synonyms
 do not face any hitches.
Furthermore
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, good education and employment are
also
Linking Words
 the biggest
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 for migration. The government should chalk out a plan and implement industrialisation in villages;
as a result
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,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 will increase the job opportunities for wage earners. If the administration implemented
these all
Correct word order
all these
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services
Use synonyms
, there
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be no
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 for villagers to leave their place.
To conclude
Linking Words
, stopping migration does not seem to be a viable solution to reduce the imbalance in population density. Educating individuals and initiating trade and commerce in rural areas can be an acceptable solution.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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